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Fun
Jokes, Stories and Recipes
Do you
have a joke, recipe or interesting fact? Send them in and share
it with us!
Submit
your jokes or stories today!
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Fun
Jokes, Stories and Recipes |
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My
Top Ten Rules for the Dog For 2002
(I will take control...)
1. The dog is not allowed in the house.
2. Okay, the dog is allowed in the house, but only in certain
rooms.
3. Ok, fine, the dog is allowed in all rooms, but has to stay
off the furniture.
4. The dog can get on the old furniture only.
5. Fine, the dog is allowed on all the furniture, but is not
allowed to sleep with the humans on the bed.
6. Okay, the dog is allowed on the bed, but only by invitation.
7. The dog can sleep on the bed whenever he wants, but not under
the covers.
8. The dog can sleep under the covers by invitation only!
9. The dog can sleep under the covers every night.
10. Humans must ask permission to sleep under the covers with
the dog. |
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Self-Evident
Truths About Pets
* Buy a dog a toy and it will play with it forever. Buy a cat
a present and it will play with the wrapper for 10 minutes.
* A dog is the only thing on earth that loves you more than
he loves himself.
* An aquarium is just interactive television for cats.
* Cat's motto: No matter what you've done wrong, always try
to make it look like the dog did it.
* Although cats are rather delicate creatures, and they are
subject to a good many ailments, I never heard of one who suffered
from insomnia.
* Dogs and cats instinctively know the exact moment their
owners will wake up. Then they wake them 10 minutes sooner.
* Dog's have owners. Cat's have staff.
* Dogs believe they are human. Cats believe they are God.
* Dogs shed, cats shred.
* I hope to be the kind of person my dog thinks I am.
* I wonder if other dogs think poodles are members of a weird
religious cult?
* Don't accept your dog's admiration as conclusive evidence
that you are wonderful.
* If you think dogs can't count, try putting three dog biscuits
in your pocket then giving Fido only two of them.
* No one appreciates the very special genius of your conversation
as the dog does.
* Outside of a dog, a book is probably man's best friend. Inside
of a dog, it's too dark to read.
* Things that upset a terrier may pass virtually unnoticed by
a Great Dane.
* Thousands of years ago, cats were worshipped as gods. Cats
have never forgotten this.
* When a man's best friend is his dog, that dog has a problem.
* Women and cats will do as they please ... men and dogs should
relax and get used to the idea.
* We wonder why the dogs always drink out of our toilets, but
look at it from their point of view: Why do humans keep peeing
into their water bowls?
* In order to keep a true perspective of one's importance, everyone
should
have a dog that will worship him and a cat that will ignore
him. |
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Dog
Biscuit Recipe
Garlic
and Cheez
1 1/2
cups Cheddar Cheese, shredded
1/2 cup margarine
1 minced clove of garlic
1 1/2 cups whole-wheat flour
1/4 cup milk
Preheat
your oven to 375 degrees Fahrenheit. Slowly heat margarine
until melted. Once melted, add it to bowl containing the shredded
cheddar cheese. Mix the melted margarine and cheese together.
Next, add the garlic, wheat flour and milk. Roll dough to
1/4" thickness. Cut dough into fun shapes with your favorite
cookie cutter(s) and place onto an ungreased cookie sheet.
Bake your doggie biscuits at 375 degrees Fahrenheit for approximately
20 minutes or until edges start to brown. Allow to cool before
serving. Refrigerate leftovers.
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Did
you know...
_____________________________________
... Some authorities estimate that some dogs sense of smelling
is as high as 1 million times greater than ours.
...
The common belief that dogs are color blind is false. Dogs
can see color but it is not as vivid a color scheme as we
see. It is much like our vision at twilight.
...
Cats can hear ultrasound. cats can hear frequencies up to
about 65kHz, humans up to 20 kHz.
...
Cats purr at the same frequency as an idling diesel engine
which is about 26 cycles per second.
...
A cats sense of smell is about 14 times stronger than that
of humans.
...The
reason that cat’s eye's glow at night is caused by a
light-reflecting layer called the tapetum lucidum, which is
in the back of a cats eye.
...Cats, giraffes and camel's are the only animals to step
with both left legs, then both right legs when they walk.
...On
February 18, 1930, Elm Farm Ollie was the first cow to fly
in an airplane. She produced milk that was put inot containers
and parachuted over St. Louis.(source: uselesstrivia.com)
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